Tuesday I thought I might get out for a run too, but when I got home from work I was so, so tired. I hadn't really slept right the night before, - something to do with having a 3 hour nap in the evening. So I went for a nap, but this time I made sure I'd wake up in an hour and a half. I did wake up after an hour and a half but I still didn't want to go running, so I didn't.
So this evening I really needed to go running. The guilt and fear had been building since Monday. It was a tiring day. I had to go and do an update on managing violence and aggression for the nurse bank. I spent my day doing break-aways and low level restraints. It was nice being up in the old training room. I've spent many an hour in there restraining and being restrained. It is socially rather odd. I found myself sitting on a nice lady that I'd just met that day. Sitting on her chest and trying to strangle her before she threw me across the floor.
When I got in I had to ignore the siren song of my bed. I used to be able to nap, that used to work for me. I could have a sleep and then wake up ready to run. But it's not working anymore. I was starving so I ate 6 rice-cakes and honey and got changed into my running gear so I wouldn't change my mind. Peter was heading off to club but I'm not ready for that level of punishment yet. Especially in the cold and dark after a long tiring day rolling around the floor.
I forced myself out to do the "old Granton Run", which is just 7 miles. It was still rush-hour, so it was pretty ugly, running along beside millions of cars. It was a struggle and I was glad I hadn't tried going to club. I would have done badly and felt rubbish. Thank god running isn't always like that. I'm off to eat my tea and watch Gok Wan give dating tips.