Its been kind of a strange week. My heart-rate has been unreasonably high all week and yet I feel better in action than I do when I'm resting. Maybe I'm tired and I think I'm kind of stressed. I applied for a job the other week there which I may well get and I got a letter today inviting me for interview. Positive in many ways - its more money and much more autonomy and doing what I'm good at than what I'm doing now, but I've just settled in where I am and I know all the people better and the thought of all the upheaval entailed in starting another new job is well... a thought. At the same time, I'm not really earning enough to live on. If I was I wouldn't be constantly looking for new jobs to apply for.
The job interview time is while I'm working so I'll need permission to go and do the interview anyway. Feels a bit weird, like getting your husband to baby-sit so you can go out on a date...I'm comforting myself with the thought that by next weekend it will all have played out and I will know what's happening.
After getting the letter inviting me for interview today and writing an email to my work to ask for the time off (it won't arrive til Monday but I wanted to get the confession part over with - the email is sent, the deed is done) instead of being happy that I got an interview I worried myself into a right tangle about the whole damn thing. I was longing to get out on the beach and into the air. Peter put in a really good bid for a new run from beyond Tantallon castle to...somewhere or other...but I didn't want any interesting new challenges today, I just wanted to be free from trying to sort my life out.
So we went to Aberlady beach, Gullane etc. and back via Archerfields. 10.5 miles pretty much. And in that time it was windy, sunny and rainy and despite knowing this stretch intimately these days we got fooled by how different everything looks since the sun and the rain made all the grass grow 3 feet longer and had a 12 minute mile wading through long weeds and thorns to get onto the path we had thought we were on. Hence we have many scratches and itchy spots now.
Once we'd finished running I went back to feeling a bit crap again and my heart was still racing. I had a look back to Wednesday's training session (during which I felt fine) to see if my heart rate was normal then and saw it was all over the shop. Normally it has a big jump to start with which I put down to not having good contact with the chest-strap yet...but normally it also settles down. Not last Wednesday, it was unfeasibly high maxing out at unfeasibly higher. So anyway, if this goes on and on I guess I will probably have to go and see my doctor - but I'm in no hurry, I'm hoping it'll just settle down by itself. I have done an extensive Google of course.
Its Saturday night, which is a good thing, and we're well into a season of Dexter (from Lovefilm) where Jimmy Smits, once the saintly Bobby in NYPD Blue, is playing a mad, bad killer. As Dexter is realising he needs to kill Jimmy Smits, Jimmy Smits is setting Dexter up to be killed...Now how on earth will this play out. I must go and see. Credit to Jimmy Smits for playing a bad guy so well. He was so irritating as Bobby.