Tuesday, 9 June 2009

Turdo

I'm sorry about this story but I have to tell it. When we got back from our weekend's adventures on Sunday evening we spyed something in the stairwell of the tenement building where our flat is and first of all, because we were in denial, we thought that someone had spilled a bag of mud down the wall and onto the floor. Spilled a bag of mud on the floor and then put toilet paper on top of it? We came to our senses and realised that what we had seen was a massive big human turd that someone had kindly left in our stairwell.
It is now Tuesday and nobody else has tackled it so I think I'm going to but I still feel like vomiting from the weekend. I just want to say, why in hell did someone have to do their massive big turd in our stairwell? A greedy bastard too by the look of things. Thanks for listening.
p.s. I'd call the police but I don't think they'd come.

2 comments:

Trail Monster Running said...

Ugh. This happened to us when we lived in Polwarth. Someone needs to develop a more sophisticated yet easier to use system of DNA analysis that will also include the identification of bodily secretions and excrement. Then you could call the cops, they'd take a sample and then go arrest the mystery pooper.

Yak Hunter said...

Thank goodness. I was NEARLY ready to go and do something about it but then Peter came home and said someone else has sorted it out.
A nice smell of Dettol permeates the stairwell.
I think we should get CCTV for our stair. It wouldn't cost much between 11 flats and we could probably make an award winning short, squalid film from the footage.