Friday, 1 March 2013

Too Much Going On

Too much going on so no blogging. I've been; having a cold so not sleeping, then trying to snatch snoozes in the middle of the day, and still do some course work, and still run, whilst leaving my job and getting start dates for the new one. Oh and I had a cardiology review.

Monday's rad road reps were pretty good but probably opened the door to Tuesday's cold. Monday night I barely slept at all. Tuesday I was horribly tired at work but still trying to function and say goodbye to people.
Wednesday I shortened the Granton Run to a 7 mile run as  a nod to trying not to make my cold worse. It was a beautiful day. They've all been beautiful days!

Recruitment have been trying to drive me crazy by telling me to contact people who are not there about when I'm starting my new job. I have seen through them however and have been trying to win the war by remaining calm - on the surface anyway. Underneath has been another matter. A growing ferment of millions of things I have to do and an inability to plan because I don't know when I'll be free. Thank goodness I got that sorted on Thursday afternoon at last.

Thursday morning I had a review at the Cardiology department. I saw another new consultant. Well, new to me, you know what I mean. When I've worked at the intensive home treatment team patients have joked that they are "collecting the whole set" because they never see the same person twice. We sympathise but can't do much about it as it's a 24hour service and there's no way you're going to see the same person all the time. I'm having the same experience anyway. I'm collecting the full set of cardiologists in Edinburgh. This new chap was nice. They all have been. I'm getting an MRI in a couple of months just to have a closer look at my heart. I am actually excited by this as I have seen people getting MRIs on telly and wanted a shot. The reality will probably be different. I'm going to wear "a tape" again for 24 hours, just to see what goes on. If nothing much happens I'll be reviewed again in December. I might need another procedure, I might not, it depends what they see on the tape and on the MRI...."So do I still have Atrial Fibrillation?" I asked, a bit surprised. "We don't know." So that is where I am at. There's nothing going on like there was last July. That is for sure.

Then I went over for my last trip to the Sexual Health Clinic and handed in my badge and my gun and in return got a big box of chocolates and a bottle of champagne. I might give away the chocolates but I'm keeping the champagne.

Today I was at a meeting in the morning and once more came home and slunk off to bed despite it being a beautiful day outside. My internal weather was quite different, foggy and dark. 2 hours later I woke up feeling more calm and peaceful and thought I'd try doing the Arthur's Seat 10 miler again - but would back off if I felt too ill with the cold or like I was doing myself damage.

It was actually lovely and very good reflective time. For the first time all week I felt like I was beginning to unravel all the different threads of the week and make sense of them. I went out just after 5pm so was running through the sunset and into darkness. I'd forgotten what good thinking space running can be, especially in the dark. Despite having a cold I am feeling stronger.

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