Mixed Fortunes

If you're not sure what mixed fortunes are, just think smiley face, sad face :-(.

Yesterday was a hectic day - to the end of my working day was pinned a job interview. A job interview for a job I wanted! What greater pressure could there be? During the night I hadn't slept well, my little mind awash with possibilities. By 3pm my mind was quiet on most subjects and so I took the risk of having a cup of coffee. I hardly drink coffee anymore so I certainly notice it and off I went on my bike in the rain and wind to my interview.

 I was early and it was a tense time waiting - an opportunity to review any advice I might dish out to anxious people.

Notes to self; self-talk  "For God's Sake, don't babble on and don't mumble!" - not helpful.

Reviewing last 2 (failed) interviews - not helpful.

Sitting in the waiting room and looking around for hidden cameras - paranoid thinking...not really helpful...

When I got in the room I would have felt better if I could have just pushed some things off the desk, say maybe the phone and the photocopier and then maybe empty the jug of water over everything - just to get it out of my system. After I sat down and got going I felt better. They were asking me about stuff I knew. Hurrah! Half-way through I had a little reflective pause to myself and dared to think "This is going quite well."

...and it continued to go okay to the end...but I was the first in and they would give me an answer tomorrow (today) afternoon.

Today I had violence and aggression training part 2 for the nurse bank. I had an early start and had had a long day the day before but found myself awake in the middle of the night again, for at least 2 hours, so when it came time to get up I was shattered and bleary-eyed. Restraining people is hard work and was a good diversion. Early in the afternoon I expected my phone to ring any minute and I'd left it on so I would get it. I wouldn't normally do this - I am usually most critical of people who can't be without their phones for a moment - but I just wanted to know the outcome of the interview and be done. By late afternoon I was feeling that it was not going well. Surely I would have heard by now? Then an unexpected and, I think, unrelated event took place. I took someone's arm to restrain them, leaned in and felt and heard a pop from my ribs. My emotion was surprise. (Raised eyebrows face, circular mouth.) "I can't possibly have just hurt my ribs - today is about whether I get my job or not, not about me popping ribs."

It didn't hurt at first and then it did. Not hugely but enough. I think (knowing nothing on the subject) that I have strained an intercostal muscle or ligament. 

So I'm depressed about that. Can I run? I'll find out tomorrow. What really hurts is flushing the toilet - a sharp downwards thrust on my right hand side. Maybe I can run if I just take loads of pain-killers. (The Hay Method. TM)

By the time I got home and there were no messages on the phone at home I felt bored of my life. Why bother to think at all? I had some things to type up from Monday so I decided to get that done rather than oscillating between hope and disappointment. And then the phone rang. The job is mine! And I want it! I wish I hadn't popped my rib.