Does the Buddha's Face Look Bothered?

I've had a quiet weekend. My very faithful readers will remember I nearly went to a day's mindfulness retreat about a month ago but then things happened and I ended up putting it off. Well it was on Saturday. I did think about not going again. I had things I needed to do you know, like going for a run, picking up a parcel from the depot (I swear the postie waits round the corner until I go out and then dives up the stairs with a red card)...and...um...well I didn't have all that much I had to do. I got up at 5 though, so's I could run and get my parcel. I was hoping that the parcel was a neoprene vest I've ordered off Amazon, for going under my wetsuit, but it turned out to be a book. I did the weekend shop at Tesco super early and I was back and showered in time to get to Mindfulness. The revelation of the day was really pumping up the tyres on my bike. I noticed the other day that they were a bit soft so I put some air in there. I swear when I went out on it it was like it was brand new again. Rolling resistance is real!

I suppose Mindfulness is about not being constantly distracted by your own mind. For someone who constantly tells themselves stories like me, that's a big ask. And I'm tempted to make up a big story about it. But I won't. I sat perfectly still for ages and never said anything and my mind did quieten down considerably. In fact on the last leg, at about 3pm, stretched out on the floor with a blanket over me, I did accidentally have 40 winks.

Peter was away in Nottingham at the Masters so when I got home I never said anything either. I ate my dinner to the sound of one hand clapping and then retired early to bed.

Appropriate outfits for the weather.

There's nothing Freudian about this picture. It's all in your filthy mind.

LOOK at my long shadow. No I'm not trying to put off going for that swim.

This morning when I got up it was dark and cold. I knew today was submerge day and I was sorry my neoprene vest hadn't come. I didn't put the heater on at home in case I lost the courage to go out. The forecast had said it was going to be sunny but the sky was grey and thrawn and there was a sharp wind. I told myself this was the point of Submergathon - to confront this very fear of the cold and exposure. "In fact" I told myself, "This is relatively easy. In an ultra you have to run for quite a long time before the real challenge starts, whereas with the submergathon you get the hard bit over at the start!"

Well nearly at the start. First of all I needed to do a wee recovery run, which I wasn't really in the mood for. The sea was grey and bleak and I wasn't looking forwards to this swim. But then the sun came out and things felt a bit better. Just a bit better mind you.

And finally I did get in. It was intense. Another couple had gone in just ahead of me. The man swam off and the woman pottered around in the water. It was very cold and very choppy. Julia Henderson had assured me the face freeze eases off after about 50 strokes so I forced myself in and on. I was getting lifted up and dropped pretty regularly by the waves though and it was exhausting. Because Peter was away I'd taken a bumbag to put the camera in and this was acting a bit like a brake in the water. Or at least I like to think so, because I was getting nowhere fast. My shoulders were really freezing and after setting off with good intent I found I was having difficulty keeping my poor little arms moving through the water. That thermal vest will not be a moment too soon when it comes. I gave it 200 strokes and decided to call it a day. Just the heel of my accelerator foot was still numb as I arrived back in Edinburgh. I got held up in what seemed to be a queue for Kinnaird park. I assume that Christmas Shopping has commenced.

Gala XC and other stuff

There's something beautifully old-fashioned about this photo of the rest of the Porties. Me and Peter were still out in the woods. Photo - David Limmer.

All my atoms were shook  up by the end. Photo Mary Lye.

Julie Oswald found the race far too short.

Arthur's Seat!

The weather is so dismal today that even the houses look sad.

I'm having a terrible time getting anything done at all today so I might as well blog! 

After 6 months race free, I just did my 2nd race in 3 weeks yesterday. Not that it felt strange, it didn't. It's 2nd nature to get up and into race kit, find my safety pins and go!

We had a newbie to the Berlingo bus in the form of Mike Lynch who got to witness first hand the usual high level of expressed emotion as we established the exact route to get onto the A7 and down into the borders. You wouldn't think this would be hard. My sister used to live in Stow, so we've cycled that road manys the time, and yet we went the wrong way and it took some swearing and sarcasm to correct our route. We had bags of time anyway - and it was lucky we did really, because a thick fog had formed and driving was slow.

Arriving in Galashiels there was yet more driving around and shouting until we followed the signs for the swimming pool (which I, ahem, had been saying all along) and got parked nearby.

It was cold and I'd put on a t-shirt under my race vest thinking I could always take it off if it seemed like I should. I had a fleece on over this and a hat and gloves as we set off on a bit of a recce.

The course was full of interest and we were out warming up and recceing longer than we meant to be so we had an unwelcome sprint just before the start. I was roasting by this time and had time to bundle my fleece and hat and gloves up and chuck them by the side of the road, but there was no time for taking my t-shirt off from under my vest. I started right at the back, which I thought might have doomed me due to the narrow trails, but actually it was fine and worked quite well for pacing. I could see the vest of club-mate Shery up ahead, so focused on making my way up to her. She has been off for about a year with a knee injury and is just coming back or I wouldn't have been near her.

As we came to the hilly bits I started to gain more places and this was very pleasing. For quite a long time it seemed like I'd never feel comfortable on the hills again, but I've regained some of my old steady pace. Nothing exciting, just the ability to keep jogging on when other people have stopped to walk. And on the downhills I could see I was more comfortable with just letting go and letting gravity do the work than those around me too, so for quite a while nobody caught me and I picked off people one by one. I wasn't complacent by the time I got to the 2nd (deep) river crossing but maybe I had relaxed. I was entirely surprised by the sudden appearance of Mark Fry who overtook me at this point. That didn't seem quite right so I did my very best to haul him back in, but he was quite at home on the fast downhill stretch to the finish and I just couldn't get him. Oh well.

The gala marshals were some of the most encouraging I have ever encountered, shouting "You're doing really, really well!". The course was truly amazing. Best ever, with a little bit of everything you could ask for. River crossings, hill-side, long swooping downhills, carpeted forest paths, the lovely smell of pine, stiles, more river crossings....

And so off we went back home again. An 80 mile round trip for less than 4 miles running! This racing malarkey is a drug, it must be. 

Today I planned to get out a run at 8am but only hauled my sorry arse out the door at 1pm. I had to trick myself that it would be "just a short one", but actually it turned out to be a 10 miler. It was nice once I was out. Much warmer than yesterday and some very subtle autumn colours happening around Arthur's seat. I like the trees with the very last bright, bright yellow leaves clinging on, and the hedges with blood red berries.

Okay, as always, I must do stuff. I notice from the results that I have fallen from 8th in my category last time to 13th in my category this race, but I can't be disappointed about it. My heart took a damn good thrashing - I had an average rate of 167. I couldn't have worked any harder and running 10 easy miles today felt fine, except I was hungry.

Surf's Up

We were only up for a gentle run and then a swim today ahead of tomorrow's Gala XC. It was cold and I was tired before we started. Just as we set off we realised that there was going to be a Hibs game today which meant it would be torture to get parked when we got back. When we got to Gullane I was thinking if we turned around right away we could beat the Hibees, get the car parked and then spend the rest of day indoors...if we didn't run or swim...

However, you don't need me to tell you about the invigorating qualities of the fresh country air and the bracing effect of the sea. Half a mile into the run I started to cheer up as I was trying to sing "Eye of the tiger" to Peter and he sang back probably quite an accurate rendition of what I'd actually sung rather than what I was hearing in my head...you probably had to be there. I was overtaken by a fit of uncontrollable laughter which warmed me up...

still I was tired and I wasn't much interested in anything on the run. Peter was trying to catch my attention telling me that there was a SUNDOG there was a SUNDOG and trying to get me to look. I didn't feel like turning round, too much effort....I peeped when he wasn't looking...as I thought, a thin, straight, barely visible rainbow hung in the sky to the right of the sun. I can get better visuals off my dirty windscreen when I drive into the sun.

Then we got back to the van and it was Oh God we have to get into wet suits and get into the sea now. I had been joking with Peter earlier, saying "Doesn't the sea look inviting?" What it looked was Baltic. But there was a nice light around and despite it being a very calm day some large surf was obviously just reaching shore now from some disturbance somewhere else at some other time...

So to cut a long story short, once we were in, it was fun. It was quite amazingly atmospheric and the big waves had no qualms about catching us unwary and knocking us off our feet. It's nicer swimming towards the sun  in this low light, I've discovered, because it's easier to see through the water. The tide also seemed to be running this way, so it was easier. So we swam along to the left and then got out, ran down the beach and then swam up again. And then we called it a day.

Getting changed back into dry clothes is never easy with numb hands and trying not to show your bits to the people sitting in their cars, eating chip suppers and staring out to sea. Our feet had nearly thawed out by the time we got home. And we found a parking space very close to home. Goal!

Birthday Weekend

It was a busy week and I was glad to see the back of much of it. Friday, 12.15pm I breathed a sigh of relief at work and headed home. Time to get on with the important task of having a birthday. This consisted of going to TK Maxx and buying 4 melamine plates with portraits from the old masters on them. (They just had that have to have quality) and a fleecy throw for sitting under watching the telly. As winter progresses Buchanan and I are resisting the siren song of the heater and acting like we're back in Nepal, wearing our hats indoors. I'm not even as skint as I have been for the last few winters but there's something about not wanting to give my hard earned cash to the evil power companies. Plus maybe there's some nostalgia for Nepal. There's nothing better than a cold, sunny, still day, with just a hint of wood smoke in the air...

At night we went out to meet my oldest sis and her husband. We had an Indian meal and I somehow put on 2 and a half pounds in one sitting. How does that happen? Presumably something to do with salt and fluid retention. It takes 3,500 to gain a pound of fat, and I didn't hold back but I didn't eat 8,750 calories either! We didn't even have pudding....anyway

I was out way later than my normal bed-time but I still stubbornly woke up at 5.30am, so I was tired, even though I was in a good mood. I had been thinking about doing a 15 miler round the lagoons, but when I went out I didn't really have the long run thing...so I headed up to the Meadows instead to do my quasi tempo run. Why quasi? It's my modo operandum! 

Anyway...it's a "kind of" tempo run, because I don't really know what tempo I'm going for, nor do I have a heart-rate in mind. I just get up there and give myself a lecture something like this.

"Alright boys. (?) I want you to go a bit faster than usual for three laps, without burning up. Do you think you can do that?"

It has actually been surprisingly effective. I've done a series of them and have found myself getting quicker on almost all occasions except when there are clear reasons for a poorer performance. The last clear reason was a night at Ben's house when we stayed up late and drank wine. On Saturday I didn't have a hangover. (I seem to have stopped drinking.) But I was tired and I forgot my remit a few times, being distracted by thoughts of the week and what-not. I saw (passed in fact) Andrew Jeske who was accompanying another runner. He shouted out "Is this how you're spending your birthday weekend?". Indeed it was.

We watched Shame at night. We'd taped it off the set-box a little while ago. I liked it's brooding grimness and the way it hinted at trouble in the family of origin of the brother and sister without ever revealing any details.

Sunday, and Peter was away on a Tynecastle Bronze. This is a challenge set by the entirely original mind of Graham Henry - to mark 100 years since the 1st World War the participants are to run an ultra of over 30 miles which at some point passes a war memorial - and that is to happen every single month for 4 years. I think all the participants are still saying that they are NOT DOING THE CHALLENGE and yet they have been drawn in, and have done it so far since it started in July. God alone knows what will be happening in 4 years time. I think that we'll live in a watery world with small islands of ice with polar bears on them. And with my developing cold water swimming skills I will be at home in the brave new water world to come...

So what I'm saying is I didn't go. Instead I went a run myself round Gullane point. The flat bit up near the marsh grasses had flooded so I found myself in a world of water and reflected light. It was very still and peaceful and I loved it. A huge gaggle of geese flew overhead making that noise they make.

It was cold but when the sun came out it was nearly warm. I was in good humour getting booted and suited up for my weekly dip in the sea. A woman stopped me and asked my why I was "dressed like that". I said I was going for a swim. She said "Oh I thought you  might have been one of those...you know the ones that stand on a surf board and hold a kite..." I looked around myself in bewilderment but there was no equipment, only me. "No I'm just going for a swim." "Oh I see" she said and scurried away. Her husband had long since legged it.

The sea was lovely and calm, but the cold soon drains you, or maybe it's my swimming style. I'm still smarting from Peter's comment that he can see that my swimming isn't right but he doesn't know what to tell me to help. He said he sees me and he thinks "No, no, not like that..." The worst of it is he was being sympathetic. It has taken the wind out of my sails. 

So today it was another beautiful, sunny day and I thought I could make up for ducking the Lagoon run on Saturday by doing it today. That was my intention but I got distracted by other things. By the time I set off it was 11am and I was already ominously hungry. I told myself it could be one of those low carb runs that are meant to make you burn fat and ultimately become a stronger runner. By 6 miles it wasn't funny anymore. I was just plain hungry, so I turned around. 12 miles done instead. It was a lovely, lovely day.

Lauder XC 2014

It was a beautiful day for the 1st meet of the Borders XC series at Lauder. Despite having been down this road a million times we got lost on the way. The roundabout at Sherriffhall was unhelpful signage-wise, maybe we shouldn't have been there, we ended up going via Dalkeith. I think Hugh in the back probably knew the way but it being his first time in the Berlingo didn't like to shout over the two of us shouting at each other. I thought I wasn't going to race but I was getting a lot of old familiar sensations, like finding it really difficult not to speed, despite us being in plenty of time.

There are soooooo many familiar and friendly faces and the sun was out. What's not to like? Half way into the race, running along the top of a hill in the sunshine I was having peak experiences. I nearly transcended myself. Looking at my heart rate I realised I probably was in danger of transcending myself, but I felt okay, it's amazing how a race makes you dig a little deeper without noticing.

By the time it was over I was glad it was over. Bring on the next one, that was great...

Red Things

I know this photo isn't even in focus but there was something about it I liked. It's like a dream of a white house in the distance.....

It's the first of the Borders XC series tomorrow and strangely, I have signed up, so I thought it was best to get the swim out of the way today and also not run too far.

I have reverted to GMT for some reason so have spontaneously woken up at 5am for the last 2 days. It wouldn't be so bad if the people of Leith wouldn't sing so loud so late.

This morning Peter was also up, ready for a rendezvous with Richard Dennis in the shadowy streets at 5.30. They were off to the Glen Ogle 33. I'm glad I don't do that long stuff anymore.

I shilly-shallied and was out the door just before 10. (I know! What the hell was I doing?)
I can practically set the dial on the car for Gullane now and sit back and enjoy the soothing sounds of Classic FM with my eyes closed. Don't knock Classic FM, it's tremendous. This morning they were playing movement 2 of Beethoven's 7th Symphony when I got in the car. It's become associated with the background music for Doug Stanhope's rants on Charlie Brooker's Screen Wipe for me, but that doesn't make me like it less.




It kind of added a sense of mission to the day. And that was no bad thing. I wanted to run just 6 miles to keep my legs fresh for tomorrow, but I wanted to do a more meaty swim than last week.

Last week's swim was really just a dip in and out and left me troubled and looking on the internet to find out how other people manage to swim outdoors when it's cold.

I found some useful advice - the harshest being Julia Henderson telling me the Face Freeze eases up after 50 or so strokes. More cosseting advice being to wear 2 hats and that there are thicker boots, gloves and possibly hats available at the Diving Centre at Watson Crescent. I didn't know there was such a place and I haven't been yet, but it's cheering to know that there are yet more options for cosy swimming as the winter gets under way. For some reason I have it in my head that I want to swim on Christmas Day.

So anyway, I did wear 2 hats today. I read that you're supposed to wear a colourful outer hat so the jet skis and boats can see you as they plough into you or so your friends can see you as you get dragged by a freak tide out to sea as they stand helplessly on the shore. Oh enough of the dramatics.

So today I persisted. I don't know how long I was in for but it was probably more than 15 minutes and I was much more pleased with myself when I got out. It helped that the temperature has once again taken an up turn and it really wasn't that cold.

I've promised myself that if I can get on it I'm going to do the swim improvers class at Leith Academy come the new evening class term next year. It's very late for someone who likes an early night like me, but needs must. I know my stroke is funny and hopefully someone can help me with it.

So I haven't had a shower since my run and swim and my face is kind of salty. Maybe I should be doing something about it. I may well be back tomorrow to tell you about some cross country. Or I may be damning "the country" (as Brendan Foster calls it) to hell and I may never mention it again.